It seems like it completely snuck up on me even though I had been waiting diligently for 22 years.
I patiently sat at my computer waiting for that moment I would either read or someone would call and tell me it’s time. At 6pm just that happened. One of my “friends” on Facebook had posted the thing I had been waiting for so long!
The new My Bloody Valentine record is available for download right now!
I immediately type in the address to get it when I found the site had completely crashed and would stay that way for three and a half hours. Of course for the majority of that time I am hitting the refresh keys so fast it actually looks like the wheel is spinning. As my fingers slowed down and my brain sped up I wondered what this record would sound like. Would it be fresh and new? Would it be same old hat?
I really didn’t care, I just wanted that feeling I felt in 1991 when I first heard Loveless.
I still remember sleeping on my friend Matt’s living room floor with just a blanket, a pillow and a boom box to keep me company. I asked him about the other bands playing the next night with Dinosaur Jr. and he threw me a cassette and said this was the other band but he hadn’t listened to it yet. My Bloody Valentine Loveless written across the spine and a swirl of red and guitar smeared on the front. I was interested but thought this could only at best be half as good as “you’re living all over me” or “bug” I was a pretty giant J Mascis fan and was a bit suspicious of this cassette to say the least.
Fast forward to 9am the next morning and I had stayed up all night flipping the cassette over and over and over again. Something in that little plastic casing had changed me. I had emerged the next day a completely different person than the night before. Part of this could have been the sleep depravation but I didn’t care, I had found my new Bible.
Jesus! I am starting to get angry now it’s been 3 hours and this site is still down!!!! What does this mean? Is this just a cruel joke by those fuckers at pitchfork? Was I prey to worlds largest indie music joke! I frantically hit the keys to refresh, Refresh, REFRESH DAMN IT!!!!!
I remember singing in a band called DirtNap – ughhhh I know, the band was actually just as bad as the name. We kinda had a pre grunge thing going before there was a Pearl Jam and thought we were pretty cool. We were the little darlings for a quick split second amongst our little group of skaters and punk thugs.
But this record had changed me. I couldn’t pretend to even like what I was doing even just a little bit. So as I sit in Frankie’s Deli watching this incredible band “Volume” who we’re doing kind of a Ride thing I just decided enough is enough. Quit the band the next day procured a fender jag and started the endless search to recreate what Kevin Shields had done on Loveless.
I spent years learning to manipulate a tremolo bar and layer distortions with reverse reverbs weaving a web of my versions of someone else’s genius.
The problem when you have something as innovative as Loveless is you can’t emulate it at all. Everything comes off as a shiny cheap copy of something amazing. I still listened to this record religiously for over 20 years as if it were Rubber Soul and it never got old. And tonight would be the night I get to hear the next record and maybe Kevin could get the monkey off his back.
Finally my page loaded! I am so excited to hear it I don’t even opt for the better quality option. Fuck it I’ll but it again tomorrow!!!!!! Gimme. Gimme. Gimme. I’ll take the quick download of MP3s thank you sir. And within 3 minutes I am blasting mbv across my airport express into the other room where the B&W speakers could rattle the house! I couldn’t believe it. 22 years later. That’s over half my life ago. And… It was awesome! It wasn’t Loveless, but it couldn’t be. It was something new! Something I had been waiting on and not given up hope on for half my life.
When I was younger I had always dreamed of taking over a radio station and playing a single record for 24 hours, and I couldn’t believe the timing of this album. I had just started an online radio station. Really? Do I get the chance to do this and not answer to a damn soul?!!!! I immediately erase the next days worth of music and quickly program 24hours of mbv! It was quite possibly one of the most satisfying evenings of my life. As I drove aimlessly around my little city listening to the new mbv record at full volume I knew my musical world had just come around full circle and I couldn’t have been any happier.
Thanks for the musical life I might not have had without you mbv!